I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
