I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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