he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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