I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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