Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
