But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
