Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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