the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
