who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
