Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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