apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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