problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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