But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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