Already got asked if we're dating
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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