Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
