I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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