worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
