Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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