where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
