she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize