what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
