I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
