how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize