Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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