Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
