you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Houston, we have a blender
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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