I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
3pm strippers are depressing
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
