No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
