need another drink. this is the easiest way
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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