She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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