Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
