You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
