We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
