I want to have your abortion
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
