in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
