when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
