We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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