no, he came in my armpit
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
