Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
