What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize