Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
