I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
