This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
