dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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