Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize