1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
