In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
