Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
