Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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