are you still at the devil's house?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
