I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.