Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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