i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
its liver damage thursday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
