Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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