i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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