That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
