so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
