Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
