I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
