I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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