I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
