At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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