yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
