There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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