I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
