god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
